Lila's Song
by Marian1
Summary: An exploration of Lila's world, wherein she gets just a little confused about her father's taking to Helga and various other things happen.
1. Knowing Lila

**Author's Notes**

This fanfic is completely experimental. I started for the same reason many people do, reading others' work and wondering if I could do that, and wouldn't it be fun to _try_? Here's a confession: I didn't pick Lila because I am a big fan of her, but because I am a lazy researcher. I knew it would be really hard to live up to all the Arnold & Helga fanfics that had come before, and that I wouldn't be able to read enough to know whether I was covering old territory. So I started examining the peripheral characters, the ones whose names I don't even know, more out of laziness than anything. So you know my secret now. :)

At my first consideration of Lila, I knew she was the character for me. If I couldn't prove my belief that she could also be a sympathetic character, given the insight to her inner world that we have with Helga, then I'd go down trying. 

I think it's turned out pretty well so far. If I had known I'd be three chapters in with no end in sight, I'd probably have ditched the whole project from the beginning, but well, here I am. It'll be a while before I post the next chapter. I think there's a nice tidy feeling at the end of chapter 3, and I'm almost tempted to make that the Official Ending. But there are more scenes in my head, and they'll have to come out eventually. 

And yes, in these eventual chapters, Arnold will make an appearance. Not a big one, though. This is Lila's story, after all.

This is getting longer than the first chapter, so I'll shut up now.

**Acknowledgements**

Thanks to everyone who's written a review! I really appreciate the kind thoughts, and that everyone's been so open-minded. Well, _mostly_ open-minded. :)

A very special thanks to Aldin Baroza for encouraging me in the beginning to believe that there was indeed a place in the world for a Lila fanfic.

****

Lila sat under a tree, far from home. No one was nearby, and she was alone with her thoughts but for the occasional jogger. The tree above her was a majestic oak. The leaves of late spring were only beginning to unfold, however, and the shade was minimal.

When the sun came out from behind a cloud, Lila turned her face upward, eyes closed. As the warmth washed over her, she found herself back in the cornfields of home, navigating the rows with all the ease of a child who had wandered the fields since she was old enough to walk, accompanied or not. 

In her daydream memory, it was late summer, almost time for harvest. The crop had done well this year, and the stalks rose high on either side. She tickled the slick yet textured leaves, and they tickled back. She giggled.

When she paused to adjust the strap of her overalls, always threatening to fall off her shoulder, Lila turned around to make sure home was still there. Sometimes she thought she had wandered so far that she would turn to see only corn for miles around, but the house was always there, the homestead that had sheltered generations of her family, rising in a stately yet comforting manner above its fields. Home.

Lila opened her eyes, half-hoping to see the cornfields before her once more, but not really dissapointed to find instead the city she now called home. It was an interesting place, full of enchanting people. Although she would give anything to go back to the farm, she had long ago come to terms with the fact that it just wasn't possible. Just as she had come to understand the more painful reality that she would never see her mother again. 

She sighed and fought back tears. It was time to go home. It wasn't safe to wander from her neighborhood so late in the afternoon, but she still did it often, usually without thought. It was as if her body simply could not restrain itself from taking the long, thoughtful walks it had become accustomed to in the country.

Lila walked for a long time, retracing her steps through the hilly part of the city with an unhurried pace, allowing herself to enjoy the warmth of the sun and the gentle spring breeze. Time passed in a most gentle manner, as it often will when one walks in solitude. 

In the midst of her reverie, she was suprised to hear the distinctive sound of a baseball meeting a bat, followed by a chorus of cheers and encouragements. She looked around, and was startled to find how close she was to Gerald Field. She decided to take a different, longer way home. Though it might be nice to see Arnold, who always had a kind word, Helga would be there, and Lila would be seeing plenty of her soon enough. They'd been paired for the upcoming science project. 

Lila sighed. She knew Helga didn't really mean the things she said, but the hurtful words were still just that. Hurtful.

Her mind now drifting to the project and how the responsibilities could best be divided, she navigated the streets of her neighborhood easily, soon arriving at her house. She walked up the stairs and reached for the doorknob. With no time for Lila to even jump back in surprise, the door flew open and a pink blur flew out, crashing into Lila and sending both on a tumbling roll to the sidewalk.

Helga was standing over her in a most intimidating manner before Lila even had a chance to figure out what had happened. "Hel-?"

"Nice of you to finally show up, Lila," said Helga with a snarl. "We've got work to do, sister, and I expect you to do your fair share, _especially_ now that you've kept me waiting for over an hour."

She stared at Lila, who could only stare back in utter confusion. 

"Well, get up already," ordered Helga. "What's wrong with you, anyway?"

"Nothing, Helga," said Lila, rising unsteadily to her feet and brushing at her skirt. "I'm just ever so... confused, is all. I'm oh so-"

"Yeah, yeah," said Helga impatiently, rolling her eyes. "Cut it with the 'oh-so,' 'ever-so' crap, okay? Just get to the point."

Lila sighed. Helga picked on everything, even the way she _talked_. "I'm sorry, Helga, I simply thought our meeting was scheduled for tomorrow."

"You wanted to meet today. It's right here in my calendar. You even wrote it yourself to make sure I _wouldn't forget_." She harrumphed. "_That's_ ironic."

Lila saw that it was indeed in her own handwriting. How could she have forgotten? She didn't do things like that. "I'm ever so sorry, Helga. I really didn't-"

"Yeah, whatever," Helga interrupted, turning to leave. "It's late anyway. We'll talk tomorrow." Lila started to say goodbye, but Helga continued, calling over her shoulder from down the block, "Oh, yeah, tell your dad I said thanks again for letting me hang around so long."

Lila was halfway up the steps, in the midst of distress over the encounter with Helga, when the girl's words sank in. Had Helga just said a word of gratitude? How very odd.

As she walked into the house, she looked around with a keen eye, trying to decide if the rooms needed tidying tonight or could wait another day. She was leaning toward waiting when a hundred sheets of paper fell from above. Moments later, her father came flying down the stairs, grumbling about the phone cord that was dangerously stretched across the upstairs hallway. 

"Hi, Daddy!" Lila interrupted. 

He instantly calmed, as he always did in her presence. Lila felt it was her greatest talent. "Hi, sweetie," he said, kissing her on the forehead. "Did you have a nice walk?"

"Oh, yes. The weather is ever so nice," she said, helping him to gather the papers. "I'm very sorry I wasn't here to meet Helga, though."

Her father was distracted, looking at the page numbers as the papers reassembled. "Helga, yeah, nice girl."

Lila started to giggle, then realized he was serious. Helga? Nice? Stack of papers in hand and shaking his head in dismay, her father headed toward the kitchen, where he would surely do his best to put the manuscript back in order. 

Lila's puzzled gaze followed the receding figure. 

"She said.. thanks."

How very odd. 


	2. Helga Comes Over

The walk home from school had been pensive and awkward, for Lila at least. "Well, here we are," she said. "My house!"

"Yes, Lila," said Helga. "I know. I was just here yesterday, remember?"

"I'm ever so certain I do, Helga," Lila responded as she opened the door, then called, "Daddy, I'm home!" She paused. "Are you here?" There was no answer. "Oh, well, I guess he's not home yet. Would you like to work in the living room? I'm certain the coffee table will be ever so much better than my floor."

"Yeah, sure, whatever," said Helga with a wave of her hand.

"Well, there it is. Please make youself right at home. I have to go to my room for just the fastest second. I left a book there that I'm certain will be ever so helpful to us."

"Just _go_ already, won't ya? Sheesh!" Helga had already made her way to the couch, throwing her bag on the floor. 

Without another word, Lila went quickly up the stairs to her room, releasing a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. Lila knew she tried too hard with Helga, but what else could she do? For better or worse, they were partners. She had to try.

After enjoying a few moments of solitude, Lila found the book she had come for and went back downstairs, where she was surprised to hear laughter. In the living room, she found her father and Helga, both apparantly enjoying themselves quite a lot. "Oh, man," Helga was saying, wiping a tear from her eye, "that's priceless."

"Daddy, you're home," said Lila, walking slowly into the room. 

"Hey, sweetheart!" he said with a final chuckle. Taking her into a bear hug, he asked, "How was school?"

"Ever so wonderful, Daddy. Mr. Simmons told me my skill with fractions is impressive."

"That's great, sweetie. I'm so proud of you." He kissed the top of her head and let her out of the hug. "I know you two have work, so I'll go make myself busy elsewhere. Dinner at six, Lila."

"Okay, Daddy. I'm certain it will be oh too yummy."

"I'll see what I can do. It was nice seeing you again, Helga. Catch you later?"

"Sure thing, Rick."

Lila stood awkwardly at the edge of the room after her father's departure. She wasn't sure how she felt about Helga calling her father by his first name. She wasn't sure how she felt about any of this, really.

"So, Lila, what's this book that we'll find just ever so helpful?"

Lila sat next to Helga and began slowly, "It has... experiments." She looked at Helga, unable to get the big question out of her mind.

"What?" asked Helga, returning Lila's stare suspiciously.

"Well, I certainly hope you don't mind my asking, Helga, but I'm just ever so curious. What were you and my father talking about, before I came down?"

"Oh, you know, just stuff. How dumb people can be, that sort of thing."

"Dumb? I'm certain I don't quite understand, Helga."

"Oh, come on, Lila, sure you do. All the stupid, moronic things people do. It's just funny, is all."

"And my father was joking about this? About... stupid things?"

"Yeah. Doesn't he tell you about the idiots he has to work with all day?"

Lila picked a piece of imaginary lint off her skirt. This conversation didn't make any sense to her. None at all. She said quietly, "I'm ever so certain we don't use that word here, Helga."

"Oh. Yeah. I guess it's not 'ever so kind,' huh? So just what _do_ you talk about?"

"Just... things that happen, I suppose. Sweet things." She felt suddenly self-conscious, and added softly, uncertainly, "Just ever so sweet."

Helga was silent a moment, then said, "Yeah, well, that must be a barrel of laughs."

Lila felt an unfamiliar pang, and it took a few seconds to realize what it was: _jealousy_. Was it possible that her father had more fun with Helga than his own daughter? How could it be?

The following silence was incredibly awkward for both girls, and Helga broke it by reaching for the book. "Experiments, huh? I guess we could look through it, unless you already had something planned." Lila shook her head, and Helga started flipping the pages. 

Both were quiet as the pages passed, pausing on those that caught their attention, but usually moving on within moments. It occurred to Lila that they were getting along better now than they ever had, and without saying a word. It was obvious to both that most of the experiments were completely lame, someone's misguided idea of what kids were capable of doing. 

One experiment caught their attention for a few moments longer than usual, particularly Lila's, but finally Helga chuckled and made a move to turn the page. 

"No, wait!" said Lila, excitement creeping into her voice. "I'm ever so certain we could do this. Oh, Helga, let's!"

Helga laughed. "You've _got_ to be kidding. You want us to talk to _plants_?"

"Oh, but it's not just talking to them, Helga. It's testing the effect of emotional stimuli on living entities."

Helga stared at her. "Have you been hanging out with Phoebe?"

Lila giggled, and in her enthusiasm, spoke much faster than usual. "No, but I'm ever so familier with this experiment. There would be three plants, all treated oh so similarly, but for one difference. We would be nice to one plant and mean to another."

Helga leaned back, a thoughtful look on her face. "You really are into this, aren't you? Well, what would we do with the third?"

"It would be our control. We would leave it alone. Our hypothesis would be that the plant we're nice to would grow faster than the others."

Helga's expression was dubious. "And the point of this would be....?"

Lila hesitated. "That it's good to be nice, I suppose?" Helga stared at her blankly. Lila picked at her skirt again, saying, "Or... we could keep looking for something that suits _both_ of our interests."

Helga sighed. "No, that's fine," then added loftily, "let's _talk_ to the plants."

"Are you ever so sure, Helga? I am certain I wouldn't want you to be bored."

"Bored? How could I get bored? We'll be talking to plants. That's exciting stuff, there, talking to plants."

Lila couldn't contain her excitement. "Oh, Helga, I am ever so certain you won't regret it! Thank you!"

Waving off Lila's motion to hug, Helga said, "Don't mention it. Does that mean we're done for today?"

Lila nodded and was about to say more, but her companion was already leaving. "Well, that was painless enough, I guess. Later."

"Goodbye, Helga, see you in-" The door closed behind the departing girl. "-class."

Lila sighed. Considering how different they were, she supposed it had gone extremely well. Although she was pretty sure Helga was just going along and not really interested, Lila couldn't help being a little excited about this project. It would be a chance for her to work with the earth again, on however small a level. 

She looked at the clock, and found it to be not yet five. That left plenty of time for a long, thoughtful walk before dinner. There was so much she wanted to think about.


	3. More Memories

The long walk turned into a longer walk, and Lila once again found herself sitting beneath the grand oak tree. There was something most magical about this place that drew her back time and again. Although it was located in the middle of the city, this field of green felt more like the country than any other spot she had found. It was quiet, on a hill far above the steady roar of traffic, making peace for the gentle conversations of birds. Flowers were blooming all around, and butterflies tested the new warmth of spring alongside the bumblebees and June bugs. Lila felt comfortable here. At home.

Sometimes it was difficult, this new city life. It was hard to adjust not only to the constant loudness in all its many forms, but also to the way people behaved. They so rarely took the time to pass on a simple kindness, or to even look at each other. Lila rather missed knowing every car that went by, having neighbors drop in for no other reason than to simply visit, and, well, just about every other thing about how people interacted in the country. It was so easy to get caught up in superficial things in the city, social cliques and fashion, gossip and politics.

None of that mattered here, in this meadow of relative solitude. She could leave all her worries behind and let her mind drift, both to dreams for the future and to memories past.

Today, Lila once again found herself transported by the warmth of the sun to the cornfields of time gone. In this memory, however, she wasn't alone. A sweet voice sang, "Blue moon, you saw me standing alone, without a dream in my heart, without a love of my own...." Lila looked up at her mother, a tall and slender woman, with a heart full of love. The woman moved with ease and grace through the rows of corn, carrying a loaded picnic basket before her as if it bore no weight at all.

Lila tried to imitate her mother's gentle elegance as the angelic voice carried away on the breeze, straightening her posture and swaying her hips, but she only succeeded in feeling really silly, like one of those goofy TV models, and giggled. Her mother turned around, putting on a mock scowl. A breeze blew red curly locks across her face, and she said with a toss of her head, "Are you laughing at my singing again, young lady?" She bent to tickle Lila, who jumped back with a giddy laugh.

"No, Mommy! I was trying to walk like you."

Putting down the basket and turning, her mother said, "Like this?" and strolled with an exaggerated sway, one arm curved skyward.

Lila giggled and said thoughtfully, "Kind of. Will I ever be able to?"

Her mother came back to her, kneeling before Lila with an expression she didn't quite understand. "I'm ever so certain you will, my dear girl, and far too soon for my liking." Taking Lila in a hug, she said softly, "For now, nothing could make me happier than seeing you walk like a seven-year-old girl, okay?"

"Okay."

Lila's mother stood, brushing a finger discreetly along one eye. "You lead, child of mine." Lila walked ahead and her mother asked, "Do you want to help me sing to the crops?"

Lila glanced over her shoulder with a puzzled expression. "Why _do_ you sing to the corn, Mommy?"

"Because it helps it grow faster."

Lila laughed. Her daddy had started teaching her about farming, and she knew what made crops grow: sun, water, fertilizer. But singing?

"It's true, Lila," said her mother from behind. "Did I ever tell you about the experiment I did with plants in grade school?"

"No."

"Well, I was really bored with science class by fifth grade. All the projects were simply too boring, but then I found one in a book that sounded quite interesting. It claimed that if you were nice to one plant and mean to another, the plant you'd been nice to would grow faster."

"Really?" Lila had never heard of such a thing. She liked plants, but had never thought of them as anything more than that. How could plants, after all, have feelings?"

"Really. I didn't quite believe it, either, so I decided to try it for myself. And it worked, Lila. It really made a difference that I sang to the plant, and said nice things to it."

Lila was silent for a moment, thinking quietly. Then she turned, smiling at her mother, who was radiant, both smile and hair glowing in the sun, and said, "I'll help you sing, Mommy."

****

Lila was ten minutes late for dinner, but her father pretended not to notice. For a while, he also pretended not to notice how withdrawn she was, filling the silence with small talk about the day as his daughter sat quietly, lost in thought. 

Finally, he said, "You've been thinking about your mother."

At this, Lila looked up, surprised. "How did you know?"

"I overheard a bit of your planning session today. You're doing the experiment she used to talk about."

Lila nodded, blushing.

"I think it's a good idea," he said.

"You do?" 

"I do." He paused. "So what else is going on?"

Lila knew what he meant. It wasn't like her to be so silent over dinner. It was probably pretty obvious she was hiding something.

"Well..." she started slowly, hesitantly. "I've been thinking about how well you and Helga get along... and if you'd be happier if I were more like her."

He put down his fork and looked at her with genuine concern. "Absolutely not. What would give you such an idea?"

Lila couldn't meet his gaze, so instead looked at her plate as she said, "You laugh more with her than with me, and share things with her that I've never heard."

"Sweetie, I've only met the girl twice. I knew she was your friend, thought she looked pretty miserable, so I tried to make her feel comfortable. I told some jokes, that's all. I tell you jokes all the time."

"But you told her about people you work with. She said you laughed about how dumb they were." Lila felt horrible saying all this, but the words needed to come out. She felt them as a weight upon her heart.

"Yeah, I did, but that doesn't mean I like her more than you. I love you, Lila, as only a father can love his daughter. Not telling you those kinds of stories - it's just because I know what a sensitive girl you are."

Lila said nothing, but was able to make eye contact.

"I love that you are kind-hearted and care about people. That's one of the many qualities that makes you so special. I love you more than anyone- any_thing_ in the world. Never doubt that."

Lila's vision was blurred by tears. She felt so bad for doubting him, and she was worried now that she had hurt him with her words. "I'm so sorry, Daddy."

"Don't apologize, honey. I'm glad you told me what you were thinking. We don't keep secrets, because we don't have to. We can tell each other anything, right?"

Lila nodded, and took a bite of mashed potatoes.

"You know, Lila, when you do that project, maybe you should try being the one who says mean things."

Lila was surprised at this. "But why, Daddy?"

"It might be a good experience, to see what it feels like to insult something, even if it's just a plant. Maybe it would help you understand why some people feel better when they gossip."

Lila thought for a moment, then put her fork down. "But that means... that _Helga_ would be the nice one." It was so hard to imagine.

Her father shrugged. "Maybe it would be good for her to know what it feels like to say nice things."

Lila nodded. Maybe he was right. Maybe she and Helga had both gotten too used to being who they were. No, rather, too used to _acting_ a certain way. It might be good for both of them to try something new.

Starting tomorrow. 

"Thanks, Daddy. That's such a sweet idea."


End file.
